Mar 22, 2010

Day 742: ½ snooze

So first off, I've clearly given up on daily writing. There's just no time, for a multitude of reasons. But it was fun while it lasted, like when you meet a new girl, hit it off and hang out with her every day for two weeks straight before realizing that she's automatically assuming that you're coming over for dinner after work, which wasn't really a problem for the first couple of weeks because if you choked down her bland attempt at "ethnic food" and pretended to care about her catty co-workers she'd let you put your peener in her bajingo, but now all of a sudden you want to go out for wings with your buddies on a Friday and she calls and says "What do you want for dinner?" and you say "Actually I'm going for wings with some buddies, I guess I never mentioned it" and she says "Oh, ok" and then there's a long pause and she says "Ok. No, that's fine, I guess I'll see you soon" but now there's a certain stilting to her speech because she was trying to figure out if she should say "see you soon" or "see you tomorrow" and there's clearly something wrong and her internal voice must be just SCREAMING at you but she's keeping her mouth shut because come on, it's not like you're a COUPLE or anything, so you don't HAVE to hang out every day, but still an email or a text message would have been enough, and she already bought the sauce from the the ethnic grocery store, the one ingredient she was going to put on the chicken and call it cooking, and she turned down an offer from her girlfriends to go see the latest stupid movie chicks like because she HAD FUCKING PLANS OR SO SHE THOUGHT but don't say that, it's not like he knows that you were expecting him over but still... so yeah, writing was like thata.

Secondly, you can see by the subject of this post that I somewhat snoozed this morning. It was more that I woke up at 6:30, decided while I was peeing that I didn't want to go to the gym, so reset my alarm for 7 and went back to bed.

I don't count this as cheating because I popped out of bed both at 6:30 and 7:00 without hitting the snooze button. If you read back, you'll recall that my problem was more the fact that I was repeatedly hitting the snooze button without realizing I was doing it. This morning I made a rational decision to go back to bed because I'd been up late and I would go to the gym after work because band practice isn't until 8 so I totally have time.

I realize, of course, that an addict will make up any old excuse to momentarily fall of the wagon, and that I'm probably deluding myself by saying it was rational and justified and bla bla bla. I might as well be injecting heroin into my nuts and saying it's for Haiti, it's still not a valid excuse...

But fuck it, I'm reporting to me first, then you second, and you don't give a shit what I do, as long as I make it sound funny, right?

a. This scenario used to happen between me and Mrs. Lefty all the time, but to no one's surprise, I was always the girl. Also, that's how I cook ethnic food.

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